About The Book
“If sharing a holiday dinner with your family makes you consider murder, you MUST read this book!”
In 2016, psychiatrists’ stock skyrocketed due to political divides. Prescriptions to stay awake, go to sleep, stay calm, and keep murderous thoughts at bay were rampant. Not since the US Civil War has brother fought against brother, and though Brexit won by 3% points, many seek a do-over in the UK.
In public and private, the language would make you think of drunken sailors chasing women on a Friday night, rather than friends sharing political views.
So, welcome to my book . Here you will learn why people are the way they are and believe what they believe. No, there is no silver bullet to miraculously convince your Uncle Fred he is an idiot and should change his views. There are plenty of explanations for dealing with those you disagree with and keeping it civil and actually interesting. You will also learn why some people cannot see what is right in front of them, why fake news is not fake to some, and why someone with the morals of Caligula can become President of the United States.
This isn’t a textbook or an instructional, but it comes damn close to being both. Yes, you will get loads of answers… all you need is the patience and willingness to use them.
And it is way cheaper than hiring a criminal defense attorney.
Exclusive Sneak Peek
Chapter 1: Confrontations
Britain risks being dragged into wider confrontation against Iran as highest-level security alert issued
India confrontation with Pakistan emerges due to escalation of conflict over Kashmir
Woman shot 8 times after confronting neighbor over fireworks, New York cops say
We are constantly bombarded with news relating to confrontation between various political leaders, organizations, groups, or countries. What does it mean to actually confront someone? Why do we feel the need to confront anyone?
Why do leaders respond to confrontations differently? What does this tell us about their leadership style, impact on society, inter-country relationships, and different political parties? Most importantly, what effect does this have on those at the receiving end, the ones who are digesting this news and trying to make sense of it? Is confrontation an embarrassment or a necessity?
At an individual level should we confront with our others or should we avoid? And if we are to confront, then what are the best ways to do that without showing aggression or making our friend or a family member, our enemy? The first chapter answers all these questions and provide tips.
Chapter 2: Life Experiences
Centuries of Racism Have Created a Mental Health Crisis Among Black Americans
Business lobbying on climate change is ‘a murmur and not a message’ Human genes reflect impact of historical events
So-called ‘love’ hormone can make you FEAR new experiences
I Was Desperate to Find A Roommate. Now, I’m Marrying Him During A Pandemic.
Elizabeth Warren was the ideal candidate, but there was only one problem… she was a woman
People do the best they can, given their understanding, life experiences, beliefs, upbringing, cultural and societal conditioning. If any of these had been different, they wouldn’t be who they are today, and their lives may possibly have followed a different trajectory. We should come with openness and curiosity and a willingness to read the chapters of their lives that they have written as best they could under the given circumstances.
Our life experiences shape who are and, in this chapter, we look at the factors that affect them ranging from DNA to social, cultural and parental conditioning including the roles that gender, religion, race and ethnicity play.
When we understand what the other person has been through, it is easier for us to relate to them and their views. We get to develop an empathetic response of what it could be like to be them. Or, more simply put, “But for the grace of God go I.” We all need a bit more of this attitude in our lives.
Chapter 3: Getting to know ourselves
Polish official understands emotions behind far-right attack on anti-government protester
Rouhani: Beliefs stop Iran from pursuing nukes
Bible vs indigenous beliefs at issue in Bolivia
Trump’s body language during debate raises social media eyebrows
Nipples stimulate the same area of the female brain as genitals do
Bangladesh arrests cafe attackers’ ‘spiritual leader’
Human is more than just the physical being we see or hear. To deeply understand and relate with someone, we must be willing to go beyond what is shown or spoken. We must be open to discover their inner world and belief systems, decipher their emotional (feelings, emotions, sensations), mental (mind, beliefs, social scripts, mental health), energetic (energy meridians and energy centers or chakras), physical (eleven body systems like muscular, nervous, cardiovascular), and spiritual states (desires, fear, religion, relationships), and learn to manage our own states when interacting with them.
This chapter also explores the reasons why different people get triggered by various issues and how leaders, campaigns and various candidates use and exploit emotions to win votes and support.
We are used to relating with people at face value, taking what they say rather than understanding their intention or where they are coming from. Going beyond this first layer of physical appearance and words won’t be easy, as we are breaking away from habitual patterns and dealing with our ego being challenged without having a defense mechanism from the outset. Once we can do that, we save our relationship, friendship, and even develop new friendships with strangers.
Chapter 4: Needs
US Needs China More Than China Needs the US
Over 500,000 children in Libya need aid; UNICEF urges political solution to years-long crisis
Everyone has needs. Society, in general, has basic needs such as protection, food, water, and shelter for everyone. Nations need to take care (in whichever way they choose to define “care”) of their citizens, government, military, borders, etc. They need to provide safety. Similarly, communities have needs; safe spaces, schools, traffic control, shops to buy food, space to play, etc. Organizations have needs; to serve their members, do the work required of them, and enforce their policies. Groups fill a common need, whether bowling, soccer, book clubs, hiking, political discussion, terrorism, protests, or playgroups.
In this chapter we look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and I share the needs that we humans have for different states of our body. If our needs are not fulfilled, we have to ask or work for their fulfillment. But, the question arises, what happens if two people have conflicting needs? Whose need is more important, and how do we decide which should be catered to and which should be ignored?
5: Perspectives, preferences and priorities
Social Psychological Perspectives on Trump Supporters
Alternative Perspectives on Iraq
Trump: I prefer not saying ‘Muslim’
Poll: Americans prefer China to Japan on economic ties
EU may give Syrian refugee host countries trade preferences -Merkel
Mexican president-elect outlines legislative priorities
Infrastructure Australia’s high priorities
Our life experiences (discussed in Chapter Two) determine our perspective (dis-cussed in Chapter Three), which develops our personality. Our personality determines our preferences, and our needs determine our priorities. To come together harmoniously, we need to understand each other’s perspective (put ourselves in their shoes) and know their personalities, needs, and priorities. Perspectives and preferences allow us to form an opinion. Our final decision, however, will be determined by the severity of the impact on our priorities.
How does our perspective shape our preferences? What happens when a situation changes, demanding us to prioritize a decision, even though it might not be our first preference?
Is glass half full or half empty? Do roses have thorns or thorns have roses? Is it a six or is a nine? Who is right, and who is wrong? In our lives, this scenario plays out daily, but we still do not get it. We may understand it conceptually but don’t integrate it into our responses and conversations with others. The question remains, “how can we help one another to see each other’s perspective?”
In this chapter we share information and views around these topics including how to decipher through the complex political perspective and work through each other’s perspectives.
Chapter 6: Labeling
German MEP resigns from leftist group after revelations of neo-Nazi past
Loony Party with a line in politics
Swedish minister defends coronavirus approach, shrugs off far-right embrace
China suggests Xi’s political ideology to be elevated in party constitution
Polish president calls LGBT ‘ideology’ worse than communism
The leftists, the loonies, the snowflakes, the rightists, the eccentrics, the center-lefts, the undecideds, the irresponsibles, and the list goes on. Labeling happens, whether consciously, unconsciously, or from a default pattern. It has been ingrained in us since childhood, at home, and at school, labeling some good boys and some bad boys. There are many reasons that labeling exists e.g., as part of social construct, sense of identity, and psychological reasoning. The mind feels safe when it has familiarity with associations. It is easy to remember when you give a point of reference. Labeling can be positive when used to empower or boost morale and negative when detrimental to one’s confidence and well-being. Labeling is unavoidable. So is the ‘Us and Them’ mentality, which can be positive, especially with polarizing views when decisions are needed.
In this chapter we narrate some points relating to labelling including ideologies and the impact of ‘Us and Them’ mentality. It also contains tips on when ‘Us and Them’ mentality is beneficial and when it is not and how to make the best use of this attitude for everyone’s benefit and how to avoid labeling.
As a reminder, we need to remain curious while also remaining cautious.
Chapter 7: Groups
Group of protesters shot at while walking on Lincoln Highway in Pa.; 1 injured: report
Local group aims to preserve George Floyd murals
Pope replaces Australian prelate who opposes the sex abuse norm
Clinton accuses Trump of scapegoating Muslim soldier’s parents
Angry about Brexit? Don’t take it out on grandma, UN says
Heartbroken mother tells how her daughter, 28, committed suicide while in a ‘toxic’ relationship and blasts ‘gaslighting’ social media trend of psychological manipulation
To understand modern politics, we must focus on how people relate to others, especially in groups. Why are groups, political parties, protest groups, climate groups, or women equality groups formed when every voter can just exercise their right via election? What are the elements, norms, and rules needed to ensure a group is functional? Why the rules and the adherence to rules matter? How groups ebb and flow with the number of issues, real or imagined, facing people in a place or country.
We all know that Conservative, Labour, Democrats, Green, and Republican parties exist, but do we know the central core guiding principles that every member must obey to be a member of any party? We are ready to point fingers at leaders for acting or not acting in a particular manner, but do we know the rules,
E.g., in the US Congress, regardless of how boneheaded another Congress-person acts or speaks, irrespective of the idiocy or pure insanity of their actions (as one might expect in the age of Trump), as another Congressperson, you are not permitted to insult or call out that person, beyond a polite disagreement. Of course, the Trump era has seen all rules tossed in the can, but in Congress, they still attempt to play by the rules and censure any member who steps on or over the line.
In this chapter we discuss important concepts like group dynamics, Groupthink, black sheet effect, scapegoating, gaslighting, collective beliefs and these play out in political context.